If you are reading this it is likely that I’m either dead or in prison. This assumption is not for certain but with the events that I’ve been through it is a possibility. At the moment of writing this I am seated at a cheap chipboard desk next to a window with lace curtains that don’t completely drowned out the light from the street. They are yellowish with stains, moving slightly from the cool breeze that is rushing in through the cracked window. I believe we are in a town called Crow’s Nest Pass, a small mountain town bordering the entrance to British Columbia.
The car we are driving, the stolen Ford Mustang is parked a couple of blocks away from our motel. We thought it would be safer to park it at a distance in case it was found. If we make it through to morning without police showing up where we are staying than we have planned to assume it’s safe to use the car for the rest of our trip. Jessica is lying on the bed, listening to the clicking of my typing and oblivious of what I am creating. She is so elegant; a pure beauty. Her physical properties make her irresistible. I guess you could say that I’m weak for looks, or overtaken by her seductive nature, but she is all mine, and together we will travel as one.
It wasn’t until recently that we became fugitives, corrupt souls seeking freedom. The experience has become an accelerating, endless, and terrifying struggle. It all started less than a year ago upon losing control over myself, including my dignity after being struck by passion. I gave everything up for Jessica and I knew from the moment that our eyes met that I had to have her, despite any of the consequences that may be involved. Although she took a sacrifice, I didn’t think things would turn out quite this dramatic. There’s been both positive and negative aspects to arise from our relationship but I wouldn’t turn it back for anything. My life before meeting Jessica was a routine of expectations that I blindly followed, chasing the cliché dreams and ideologies of western civilization. That is all left behind me now, all for a life of danger, hiding, and chasing the idea of freedom with the girl that I have helplessly fallen for. There’s no point in regretting the past so I decided to embrace it, hope for the best, and push with everything that I’ve got to make things work out.
Before this change of lifestyle I presented myself in a generic fashion attempting to fit in with the crowed. I lived with my drunken and angry father. He had his own troubles which I tried to distance myself from but it was difficult. He was a sucker for my moms charm and she used it to get anything she could out of him. She took him for nearly every cent he was worth in their divorce and refused to take care of her son, which is me, but worst of all, she still hasn’t disappeared. She leaves for months at a time and shows up just so she can collect money from a genuinely soft hearted man who has not yet dealt with the reality that she is only showing affection for money. She is a mooch. I have no problem calling her anything accept mom. She deserves to be dumped on the streets. Her greedy collections have left my father and I struggling through childhood so I’ve always known the poor life. I’ve never had this much money before so maybe this is what I needed to escape and start a new life. I feel guilty that I didn’t get a chance to say good bye to anyone, especially you Sarah, if you ever get the opportunity to read this. You were always there for me. You are the best and only real friend I’ve ever had.
Things first started changing when I was seventeen, a grade twelve student about to graduate. I had my whole life ahead of me, a girlfriend who adored me, and everything seemed to be heading in the right direction. I admit that my girlfriend Stacy had lost my interest. She was predictable and easy to read, would have been a perfect wife, but I was in search for a thrill. I felt guilty about what I did to her but I couldn’t just live my routine life forever. It may seem selfish but the last year of high school seemed like a perfect opportunity to experiment. My thrill was found through Jessica. She was a new girl to enter one of my classes and she immediately captured my heart and attention. She was gorgeous, unpredictable, and I thought that I would regret not chasing the girl I believed resembled perfection. Some may argue that I made a terrible mistake giving up Stacy so easily. I do feel guilty for crushing her heart in my journey for self gratification, but it was for something I believed to be so spectacular that I couldn’t have avoided it. The first moment I laid eyes upon Jessica she took full control over my mind while her image burned a permanent location into my thoughts. There was no escaping her seduction because she was so perfect in every detail. From the moment we first spoke nothing else mattered.