A Step over the Edge

 This page contains short scenes cut from my novel, A Step over the Edge, which I'm in the process of putting together. Enjoy!

If you are reading this it is likely that I’m either dead or in prison. The assumption is not for certain, but this story was in fact put together as a depiction of the events that I’ve been through. At the moment of writing this I’m seated on a desk next to a window with lace curtains that don’t completely drown out the lights glare from the street. I believe we are in Crowsnest Past, a small mountain town bordering the entrance to British Columbia. We’ve come so close to our destination point, to fail now would be complete heart break.

The car we were driving, the Ford Mustang is parked a couple blocks away from our motel, just in case. If we make it through to morning without police showing up where we're staying then we have planned to assume it’s safe to use the car for the rest of our journey. Jessica is lying on the bed, listening to the clicking of my typing, oblivious of what I am writing. She is so elegant, a pure beauty, and her physical properties alone are irresistible. I guess you could say that I’m weak, or assume that I've become completely overtaken by her seductive nature; but she is mine, and together we travel.

It wasn’t until recently that I became a fugitive; a corrupt soul running from the law - an endless struggle. It all started less than a year ago upon losing control over my-self from the presence of Jessica sheer beauty. I’ve given everything up for her. I knew from the moment I laid my eyes on her that I had to have her, despite any of the consequences involved. I didn’t think things would turn this hectic, but I wouldn’t turn it back for anything. My life before meeting Jessica had become a routine of expectations that I blindly followed, chasing the clich√© dreams of education and personal image. That is all left behind now, all for a life that I replaced it with. I don’t consider myself a murderer although I have killed. I have never killed anyone who didn’t deserve it – the act was saved for corrupted wastes of life, at least the ones that weren’t by accident. The first murder was an accident, I promise, and I didn’t want it to happen, but it did and it was the starting point of my changed perspective. There’s no point in regretting the past so I’ve embraced it, used my lack of fear to my own advantage, and together Jessica and I have made a pact to aid each other through any trouble we may find ourselves in.

Before this change my life was nothing spectacular. I lived with a drunken, abusive father who was a sucker for my mother even though she used him in nearly every way that she could - financially and emotionally. It was difficult to watch, to be a part of, and my family life had probably tainted me in a sense – but it’s all behind me now. This is my life now, and to show you what I left behind I will start from the beginning - when I took a step over the edge.

 After The Fight:

“It seems, uh, too morbid. His parents are innocent in this situation; I would just feel so bad.”

“Don’t. I guarantee you, this is the safest solution. If we don’t do anything than yes, they’ll find us, see us on the street or something and murder us without hesitation. If we get to his parents house first, well, we have control of him and his entire crew.”

“Maybe we should just move and find a new location.” she suggested, not liking my solution.

“We just moved here, we can’t just let these freaks drive us out of town. We came here to escape, not run. Let’s at least find out if it is really him who lives at this location.”

“Okay.” she replied, and she helped me limp home. My shirt was ripped, and I could feel my face starting to swell. My ribs were piercing with sharp pains in every breath. We made it home and I must inform you, there was no passionate moment like I had anticipated.

This is an early scene within my story. John has stolen a couple of his dads perscription pain killers in an attempt to blunt his feelings of regret after he cheated on his girlfriend Stacy:

I lied there, letting the music take me away while staring at the ceiling. I became instantly submersed into the music. My mind buzzed, my body felt numb, and something inside of me took over with a pleasant grasp, tearing away every last bit of negativity from my mind and filling the void with calmness. It was a euphoric moment. I didn’t want to move, so I just lied there, feeling a rush throughout my entire body. It was like I had just entered into the heavens, and I then realised that this was the feeling my dad had been addicted to.

It was so pleasant, it felt so pure, and the best part of it was that I no longer felt bad about anything that had happened. This euphoric rush took control, taking me into the music to a new dimension, showing me that there exists a universe of purity. All it takes is a small chemical rush of a pharmaceutical drug to experience it. It was getting stronger every second, pulling me away from reality, pulling me into an abyss. I was unable to experience truth, and in a flash I seen her face. It was Stacy but I was unable to experience her in the full form.

She was in my room I realised. She had to have been, maybe seeing if I was okay? Did she know I was intoxicated on drugs? I didn’t care, she was so beautiful.

I screamed, “I love you! I do I do, I love you!” but the look on her face told me she was unimpressed. She must have known. I knew I should have felt terrible at this moment; but I couldn’t.

In this scene John and Jessica are making their way home with anticipation for a moment of passion. Before they make it to the safe confines of their home they are confronted with a past enemy and troubles arise:

A pit of excitement grew in my stomach and I grabbed her hand, pulling her through the crowed. We made it outside in the crisp air and walked quickly, anticipating the moments we were planning to share in our apartment bedroom alone.

“There you are, you little fucker.” said a voice from the alley. One of the thugs that harassed us was back, holding a look of confidence, ready for a fight. The street we were on was dead - it was more of a back road shortcut to our apartment complex, so we were faced with him alone. He reached behind his back in the back of his pants and pulled out a handgun. It looked like it was probably a nine millimetre, but either way, this guy was here to kill me.

It was a terrifying moment, knowing that even if I managed to escape the incident alive that there’d still be the rest of this guy’s gang after me. It brought back the memory of Jason Copperfield, one of the first friends I’ve ever had and the moment I let him slip away. That image of the man running over the train tracks, my adrenaline causing me to outrun Jason, and the view of that bastard cutting him up into pieces while I ran away not doing anything like a pansy. I looked back to see the look of agony on his face, a look of helplessness while he was murdered infront of me - I wasn’t about to re-experience that moment. I would give myself up if that’s what I had to do to make sure that Jessica escaped unharmed.

This is a scene between John and Jessica when Jessica confesses to knowing more than she has led John to believe:

 Jessica knew allot more about my friend than I did. She didn’t want to tell me something, something terrible and I thought about what had happened. “I have a thousand dollars in cash from that account.”

“The cash you left in my room? You were going to take me out and not even tell me where that money came from? You are out of your fucking mind; no one gives out money like that for nothing. Did that even cross your mind?”

“A little.” I replied, “But it was only taken out because I was mugged by some guy at gunpoint. He told me to withdrawal all of my money but it could only take out a thousand.”

“How’d you get it back?” She asked.

My mind wanted to say something different but, “I killed him.” I told her.

“What the fuck? I thought you wanted to not go to prison? This nightmare has been tormenting our freedom and you go out and create more complications? You’re lucky you didn’t get shot. What did you do with the body?”

“I left it. There’s no evidence of me.”

“You are going to create a public outrage. We need to find that body before someone else does.” She looked panicked, looking around in the room as if trying to find solutions. “You’re an idiot John, why did you do this?”

“Come on, we’ve killed before, it’s nothing new.” I tried to reason. “I can’t just let someone get away with stealing from me like that.”

“I guess, but I’m getting really scared. I came here to relax, avoid stress, and that’s all I’ve gotten. I just want all these problems to go away so I can relax in peace.”

“Well what should we do?” I asked, not really reacting to the situation how she had been.

“Let’s move. You already owe Chad your life; let’s get him to help us.” She suggested.

“Sure, what are you thinking?”

“New identities, new town, this can all become part of our past.”

Here's a scene between John and Jessica, two complicated lovers. The scene talks about a salamander that Jessica owns, but Terrance is a real salamander which the story bases him on. Enjoy:

“I found him.” she replied, “his name’s Terrance.”


“When I was driving through British Columbia, he was just chilling in some little creek next to a truck stop. I put him in my soda cup until I could buy him a proper habitat. Watch this.” she said as she grabbed a container full of little crickets. She tipped the container over top of the open aquarium until a few dropped free. They looked so innocent, scattering around in his cage. It was predator vs. prey - the crickets wandering the cage helplessly awaiting their inevitable ending.

“This is gruesome.” I replied.

“Yep.” She smiled, “But don’t you love it?”

I watched a cricket wandering the unknown territory. He walked on soft dirt that covered the entire bottom of the cage. There was a stone rock pool placed on the right of the cage, buried down in the soil to look like a swamp. It was almost like a miniature stone pool, filled with fake plants that covered about a third of the water. There was a half rock with an opening for a door. The entire thing was hollow, making a shelter or house for the thing. His short legs pushed him around the parameter of his home, searching for the invaders, his meal. He sat, quiet and still, like a cheetah would before pouncing upon a gazelle, the cricket, unexpectedly placing himself in a perfect position for death. A quick movement from the salamander and he was non-existent.

“Wasn’t that awesome.” she burst out.

Another Scene, Read and Enjoy:

It was all so much. Scott was having trouble trying to take it all in. “We have to find her.” he suggested, expecting that she was still alive;

“How would we do that?” asked Susan.

“Do you know anything she’s in? Like movies or magazines or what?”

Susan just rolled her eyes and thought about it. “Well.” she scratched her chin. “We could look her up. But how will watching a bunch of porn help us?”

“I want to at least know what she looks like, in case I see her or something.”

“I probably shouldn’t do this, but.” Susan started typing the names on a search, “Juicy Josie.” and she searched for pictures. The moderate safe search was on, so nothing too graphic came up, but her face was clear and exposed.

Scott gasped.

“What is it?”

“She she she.” he stuttered. “She went to school here. How old is she?”

She continued reading articles, and media about her, finding out that, “she’s twenty six!”

“This is one fucked up world.” suggested Scott.

Susan just nodded. “Is she still here? Let’s find her and see what happened?”

“She stopped showing up, probably fled whatever scene was going on.” Scott thought about her week presence here, she just stopped coming with no notice or anything. She didn’t return any phone calls. He just thought she moved with her family or something. She said she was seventeen.

“She can’t be that far, she must be alive. Will you help me look for her?” Scott asked.

“I’ll keep an eye out for her.”

This is a scene between the characters Scott/Mr. Thompson (the principle of John's school) and Linda (Scott's wife). Within this scene, Scott is venting to his wife about the vengeance he strives to seek against his brothers murderer:

“Are you joking?” he asked, “You know what will happen if I let the justice system take care of it?”

She just looked at him with her mouth open unable to speak. She muttered, but felt silenced by the lump that seemed to be lodged in her throat.

He burst out, “They will do nothing or at the worst he might end up in a government paid vacation centre. They feed them, give them free classes, take them for walks, give them gym equipment, they probably all become best friends, it’s a joke of a punishment is what it is. I’m going to get vengeance on my brother’s murderer if it’s the last thing I do, even if I have to die for it.”

Linda looked up at her husband’s behaviour and struggled not to cry. She was terrified at the anger that he possessed, the lengths he was about to take, she couldn’t imagine her husband not being with her and she didn’t want to lose him. “You can’t do that Scott.” she cried, “Please just don’t.” She looked at him in the eyes to judge if he was actually thinking about it or not. He looked emotionless except for a movement in his eyebrows that made him almost look like he was possessed. “You don’t even know that he was murdered!”

“It’s been almost two weeks and he hasn’t shown up yet, probably because someone tried to cover up their murder. I’m going to find out who murdered him and I will find them.” he reassured her.

This is an introduction to Jessica, a beautiful seductive female who John, the main character has fallen completely in love with. In this scene she is suggesting arson, which to John seems dangerous and exciting, but he doesn't have any idea what he's really getting into:

She looked into my eyes, creating a moment; it was something special but unexplainable. She continued driving. I had no idea where we were, but we were on our way to get gasoline so that we could burn down her father’s BMW and I don’t think she could have been as animated as I was. “Once my car is gone, there is no evidence for my existence here with my new identity.” stated Jessica. She didn’t turn her head to look at me but kept her glance out at the distance while she drove. “I had a fake ID made so that no one could track me down. This is the perfect plan.”

We pulled into a small gas station out in the middle of nowhere. It was an aged white building – the paint was peeling off of the edge, creating a classic rotting look and the road leading up to it was made of loose gravel.

Jessica stepped out of the car. Her long slender legs walked towards the pump, hips shaking with every step. She had a brand new jerry can in her hand from her trunk, as if she had already planned out the plot. I watched her fill it up, bring it back to the trunk, and she walked inside with the most trusting and honest look on her face to pay for it. I followed her in to grab a drink or something for us to share and I watched her. She went up, looked the clerk straight in the eyes and ordered the fuel that was going to create beautiful, splendour of destruction. Then she will be stuck here with me, I thought excitedly, forgetting about Stacy for the moment.

I walked up to the counter, trying to seem as confident as I could be. I became over conscious about my breathing and believed that I was breathing extremely fast. It was as if I was having palpitations, but I knew it was all an allusion from the massive adrenaline rush that was shaking my nerves. The long few seconds it took me to buy my drinks were soon over and I made my way to the car where I got in the passenger seat next to her. Again, we continued driving.

“Where do you think we should take it?” she asked while I looked around at the passing fields.

“Why don’t we just drive it into the centre of one of these fields or in the forest somewhere?” I suggested.

“Let’s do it in the forest. There’s less chance anyone will catch us doing it out there.” Enthusiasm and certainty rang from her voice.

“Okay. Jessica, are you sure you want to destroy this car? What if you’re making a mistake? Your dad’s not that bad is he?” I started to reason, getting a little nervous.

“You don’t know the half of it!” she snarled.

“Okay, Sorry.” I quickly replied, feeling kind of nervous.

This is the beginning of John and Jessica's moment of triumph when they manage to take Chad as a victim with his own car in an attempt to get revenge:

In the garage we were confronted with Chad’s 06 Ford Mustang. You could tell he had money with the look of what he had done to his car. The rims were chrome silver with low profile tires and it sat low to the ground with a lowered race physique to it. And behind it rests the bare skeleton remains of the car we left behind. No one had noticed, raised any questions, or even found it weird that we had this scrap piece of car we left behind, and all this time there were people coming and going. I stepped into the driver’s seat after forcing Chad into the back. I handed the gun to Jessica and told her to not let it go. Chad had no door to escape, it was only a two door, so we pulled out of the driveway and made out way onto the highway going west to British Columbia.

That next moment turned into a nightmare. All my stinging eyes could focus their attention on was the bright red dials on the car. They formed haloes around my vision, bouncing around vividly as the car moved to bumps. It grew to be complete darkness as night had crept in, and the rain was pouring down in heavy amounts. It was almost as if waves of water were being thrown on the front of the windshield while the wipers attempted to clear the downpour. The headlights of passing vehicles were visible, but nothing was completely distinguishable. I trembled, being new to driving, while I tried to gain control over Chad’s powerful car. The water started to come down mixed with snow making the drive feel like we were cruising through space at light speeds. My knuckles were white with intensity, nervousness, and I just wished I could have handed the wheel over to someone else.

This is a scene from 'A Step Over the Edge'. John and Jessica are in a van with Susan and Mr Thompson, the principle of Johns school. A messy situation has developed, so read it. Enjoy!

“What are you doing?” asked Jessica, looking rather angered for the first time that night. “Do you have any plans here, this is looking really stupid,” she continued.

I panicked, looking around, thinking about the gun, the murder I had outwardly committed in the presence of two innocent lovers just trying to escape the world. That’s what I wanted to do, escape the world.

“What are you going to do once they get back to our car? Kill them? – This wasn’t part of the plan. If we let them go they will tell the cops for sure. We’re both going to end up in prison because of your stupid mistakes.”

I had the same fears that she had, but I didn’t want to kill Mr Thomson, in fact I refused. I told her, “We’re not killing them. They are going to leave. I will take the blame for everything, they only seen me kill, right? You are good; I promise I won’t say anything.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Those were the last words she said to me the entire ride. We had whispered, but I wondered if Mr Thomson and Susan could hear anything that we were saying. I wanted them to know that I didn’t want to hurt them, but they did look scared. Terrified even, their worlds were collapsing all around them. No one spoke; they just stared awkwardly into different directions. The lack of any conversation drove me to insanity. My mind wandering circles around its-self – I’m sure that I was probably more terrified in our situation than they were. I was risking my relationship with Jessica, the girl I abandoned the rest of the world for, and my freedom, as I was sure I’d end up locked behind bars. My world was over as I knew it. I was certain that I’d rather risk everything then to kill Mr Thompson, the guilt would have destroy me.

We finally made it back to the car. It had slid about three feet into the ditch, light snow and ice causing it to slide when we attempted to pull it out. “Thanks.” I said, stepping out of their vehicle. Jessica followed, and I started towards the car. I looked back and Susan was burning out on the ice, trying to make a quick escape. Both Jessica and I could have jumped back in before they finally found the traction for movement, but neither of us did. We let them run, not fully explaining our intentions, and knowing that we were fucked. There’s no other word to describe the mess that we were in.